1. Breaking: The Patriots are The Patriots. Without the greatest Quarterback in the history of the NFL, without the most dominant position player in the league, without 2 starting offensive lineman, and a defensive leader, the patriots went into Arizona and came out with a win. If Arizona is a representation of the best the NFL has to offer and the Patriots were able to win on the road without most of their key pieces, they should just get sized for rings now. When Brady comes back with a chip on his shoulder this could be a very fun team to watch. I’m an unapologetic deflategate truther and believe the whole thing was an inside job to finally punish Belichick for Spygate, and now the NFL is going to have to pay for their sins by watching a Bradyless Patriots team stay afloat until he returns in week 5 then go on a tear the likes we haven’t seen since 2007 (post Spygate). Buckle up and enjoy the show.
  2. Wide Receivers are collectively the dumbest players in all of sports. Three times yesterday a wide receiver almost cost their team the game because of mistakes they teach you not to make in pop warner. Terrance Williams and Marvin Jones stayed in bounds instead of getting out of bounds to stop the clock and give their team a chance to win, and Michael Crabtree decided to celebrate to the tune of a 15 yard penalty which save for a the ROCKET leg of a drunk polish kicker, could have given Drew Brees the ball with great field position and a chance to get his team in a position to win the game in the closing seconds. I’m not USUALLY one of these guys who criticizes people for their on-field actions (yes I am), but these guys give us wide receivers a bad name (NBD, I was an all conference receiver in HS with 4.8 speed who had multiple offers to play D-2 ball….I don’t like to talk about it). This is why people say receivers are divas who care more about personal stats and the spotlight than they do about winning. Today, these jabronies are making it really hard to defend receivers (Apparently Revis feels the same way because he didn’t do much defending of receivers yesterday either…just check AJ Green’s statline)
  3. The “12’s” up in Seattle are the worst. Fans who think they impact the game this much are pathetic losers who don’t have anything else to live for. There is a 100% chance that “The 12’s” went home last night and congratulated each other on their role in helping that team win. Is their stadium loud? Yes. Are they a rabid, loyal fanbase? Yes. Are they directly (or even indirectly) responsible for 1 point scored or prevented in an NFL game. Hell-fucking-no. All stadiums are loud enough to require silent snap counts and hand signals. Once it’s loud enough not to hear anymore, it’s all the same…and yes “12’s”, other stadiums get loud enough to force the away team to use hand signals and silent snap counts. Which is why every fucking NFL team has hand signals and silent snap counts for away games. So next time you show up to work (if you even have a job) on Monday morning with no voice and tell people you’re just a little beat up from the big win….remember that you sound like a fucking idiot loser to everyone who isn’t equally obsessed and delusional about their role as a fan.
  4. Jay Cutler and Matt Stafford are the same player. Both guys have rocket arms, sneaky athletic ability, no leadership qualities to speak of, chubby faces, and hot girlfriends/wives. If that isn’t enough, both play in the NFC North, both went to SEC schools, both throw right handed, both wear single digit jersey #’s. I mean the similarities are endless. Oh yeah, and they both come into every season with high expectations and inevitably make too many mistakes to allow their teams to legitimately contend for a championship. #rockeyarmsthough
  5. If you don’t have NFL Redzone you’re an idiot. Pretty simple. Not much else to say. NFL Redzone is by far the best part of NFL Sundays (except helping your team to victory by making more noise than any other fanbase and going to work with a hoarse voice and the knowledge that YOU made the greatest impact on Sunday).